p.s.s. - the Slug quote above was revised for applicability : D~
p.s.s.s. - how do I get my royalties for being your game's inspiration?
Until that happens I'm taking a bonus turn, if I were b.s.24 a.ka. Blazerswagger24... in the spirit of inappropes, my reasoning would include:
Blazer -defined by
dictionary.com as:
NOUN
1. something that blazes or shines brightly.
2. a sports jacket, usually a solid color or striped, having metal buttons and sometimes an insignia on the breast pocket, as one worn by a member of a club, school, or the like.
3. a small cooking apparatus using as its source of heat a spirit lamp, hot coals, etc., used especially for preparing food at the table or outdoors.
Blazer because:
(a) Owner of the largest blazer (sports jacket) collection in the world;
(b) Left blank in honor of blazerswaggers everywhere;
(c) Chevy Trailblazer fanatic (f%$k Ford);
(d) Portland Trailblazer fanatic and hooligan;
(e) Employed by the National Wilderness Preservation System (NWPS) leading groups and tourists through unsettled terrain where my colleagues have nicknamed me 'Pathfinder' (my alternative lichess username substring for sabotaging and cheating purposes - before reporting me to the CIA - I already received immunity for my trailblazing snitching);
(f) Capitalizing on (d) I am able to discover optimal locations for starting wildfires... my creative twist on being a multifaceted 'blazer';
(g) I shamefully, but secretly proudly, disclose... as a result of (e) I am in the International Database of Known Pyros - currently ranked 24th most dangerous threat to oxidizers and oxygen-rich compounds in the world;
(h) Recognized by
lichess.org as an official pioneer or "trailblazer" of antichess and snitching (as (e) revealed);
(i) I am a cohort Nancy Botwin;
(j) I am a (medicinal) horticulturist hobbyist of the soon-to-be legal kind (redundent if you know who Nancy Botwin is - hint: an anagrammatically sewed Swede);
(k) Should the powers of deduction fail you when considering both (i) and (j) I am what is known as a "blazer", or inter alia, a dope fiend, a dopehead, a weedhead, a stoner, a burnout, a toker, a kottonmouth king, Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, Bob Marley, etc.;
(l) Camping cookout aficionado and author of camping blazingbooks dedicated to swagsational grilling 24 months every two years - titled 'Too Hot to Handle - How to Blaze with Swagger';
(m) In dedication to my mom, (m), for convincing me that I do in fact have a shining personality that can really blaze up a room - regardless of what everyone else says.
Swagger (so called and claimed) - defined by
dictionary.com as:
VERB (used without object)
1. to walk or strut with a defiant or insolent air.
2. to boast or brag noisily.
VERB (used with object)
3. to bring, drive, force, etc., by blustering.
NOUN
4. swaggering manner, conduct, or walk; ostentatious display of arrogance and conceit.
For me, my swaggerness includes, inter alia:
(a) my (a)ntichess skills;
(b) my patented (B)-Lazer yet to hit the market - it's the (b)om(b);
(c) my assortment of (c)olorful blazers donned daily;
(d) my (d)reamy 1978 Chevy Blazer with painte(d) flames on each (d)oor an(d) the hoo(d);
(e) my (e)ff(e)rv(e)sc(e)nt vanity lic(e)nse plat(e): CHESSH8R;
(f) my (f)u%#ing (f)abulous vocabulary (especially with the ladies and courts of law);
(g) stands for (g)reatswa(g)ness - which is what you (g)et from the recipes in my blazin(g)books series;
(h) (h)ence (h)ow (h)igh my (h)orticulturing (h)obby (be)(h)ooves (h)umans;
(i) (i)n case you m(i)ssed (i)t, I am (i)n the (I)nternat(i)onal Database of Known Pyros!!!
(j) the (j)ive I spit;
(k) the way I wal(k) this way
(j) the way I ta(l)k this way
(k) just gimme a (k)iss
(l) (l)ike this...
(m) having a tongue and (m)outh that is so(m)ehow bigger and longer than Steven Tyler's. Before you ask, yes, this is where (m)ost my swag lives!
(n) I k(n)ow (N)ancy fu%#ing Botwin!!!
(o) all the (o)ther swaggering things ab(o)ut me.
Reasons for the 24 not already mentioned above:
(a) Did I mention every striped blazer in my collection has exactly 24 stripes?
(b) In regards to Blazer, section (e), I have promised myself and the states of California, Colorado, and Oklahoma that I will cease igniting wildfires when I reach 24 official large incidents according to the USDA Forest Service.
(c) The number of volumes in my 'Too Hot to Handle - How to Blaze with Swagger' series of cookbooks.
(d) The number of hours per day my horticulturist products are available for sale. I am also open for business seven days a week - as in open 24/7 - but apparently was too stoned and forgot the '7' when I registered on lichess 24 years ago. I was perpetually high back in 1982 in case you were wondering. (But please don't try to calculate the math... I already hear you saying, "but lichess launched June 3, 2010" - fact of the matter is it's a wormhole, back-to-the-future kind of thing going on... )
(e) Jack Bauer and TV Show '24' fanatic... duh!
(f) In my spare town I stroll the streets mumbling only the words, "two dozen" over and over again...
"And now you know the rest of the story."
